![]() As I hastily pull myself up and pick a fry out of my hair with one foot bare on the carpet, I spy the photographer’s camera screen. As I fall backwards, my fries do too-onto a VIP table below. In order to get “the shot,” one accidentally slams into me so hard that I’m knocked out of one of my shoes. Billie Eilish is walking in, and her very presence has stirred up a photographer frenzy. ![]() Party Five: Janelle Monáe at The Top of the Standard I look down at my phone, and there’s a text from Lilah informing me that Janelle Monáe is currently dancing on the bar at the Top of the Standard. Meanwhile, Irina Shayk is by the bar, in a pair of gold sparkly boots and sweatpants. Meanwhile, McCartney twirls Hadid around as they both laugh under a ceiling of silver balloons. She spies Kate Hudson, and the two warmly embrace. Jennifer Lopez walks onto the dance floor and starts shimmying by DJ Daisy O’Dell’s booth. Currently, the latter is being passed around above the crowd like some fabulously deranged effigy. Jared Leto and his Choupette head are here as advertised. Once I arrive at the event, I understand why: Like Chanel before it, it’s a whiplash of famous faces: Amber Valetta. There are so many paparazzi outside Zero Bond that, between the cacophonous yelling and camera flashes, I can both hear and see them from a block away. Party Four: Stella McCartney and Baz Luhrmann at Zero Bond Suddenly, I get a text from my colleague Ian Malone who’s over at Zero Bond for Stella McCartney and Baz Luhrmann’s party: “Jared Leto and cat head are here.” I take that as my cue to leave. For a second, a feeling of selfishness washes over me- what if I just did? But deep down, I know the only reason I’m here is the role I play in the eco-system of fashion and fame: I’m the fly on the wall chronicling the celebrities rather than the actual celebrity herself. I’d stay there all night if I could, mingling around this beautiful room with beautiful people. (If not Chanel, then pearls or black and white.) In an ode to the brand, as well as to the late Karl Lagerfeld-the very subject of the 2023 Met Gala-many guests wear Chanel. Cara Delevingne and Margot Robbie giggle in a corner. Jeremy Strong sits in a booth with Glenn Close, engrossed in conversation. Gisele Bündchen dances with Penélope Cruz who has a slice of pizza in hand. Held at Sartiano’s-the former Mercer Kitchen space that is currently being transformed by nightlife impresario Scott Sartiano-it’s clear why this was one of the most exclusive invites of the night. Lilah is ushered past the velvet rope and I’m practically grabbing the train of her vintage Arnold Scaasi dress as she goes. It’s time to abide by the cardinal rule of (potential) party crashing: if you aren’t on the list, shamelessly glob onto someone who is. But do you know who is not a nobody to Chanel? Lilah, our parties editor, who is overseeing Vogue’s exclusive photos the night. So, last night, this writer tried to do the impossible: attend every single one.Īs I pull up to the Mercer Hotel, the panic of rejection kicks in-I am, after all, a relative nobody trying to get into a room full of very much somebodies. What they do have in common, however? They’re all packed with the most famous faces in the world and their posses-resulting in the strictest of doors. Others are club basements with bottle service, house-music DJs, and bathroom stalls filled with multiple people taking way longer than they should. Some are places to sip champagne and eat caviar. Like a cottage industry around fashion’s biggest night, a number of late-night soirées pop up around New York City every first Monday in May-or, technically every first early Tuesday morning. By midnight, you have a whole lot of celebrity Cinderellas without a ball. (Can’t say I know from experience, but bedazzling yourself head-to-toe with said silver crystals seems like it takes a while.) But the big event itself? Most people are there for two to three hours, tops, before it ends. ![]() Then, on the day, they spend the whole morning and afternoon getting ready for it. Celebrities spend months planning for it, scrutinizing their outfits down to every last button, embroidery detail-or, in the case of Lil Nas X, dazzling silver crystal.
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